Oh wow, it has been so long since my last post.... here's a few things that have happened since my last post... which was months ago.
1. I got a new job!
2. The first place I work at didn't end up closing down as it got bought by another company :)
3. Now I have two jobs and it's great ;D
4. 2016 finally ended!
5. I ran out of things to say despite so many different things probably happening in my life.
So now that you've all caught up with my hectic life it's probably time to return to My Awkward Life in Thought...
To be honest I have no idea where this post was even going.
Friday, 20 January 2017
Monday, 17 October 2016
Letting it all out
sorry for that last post.
Just had to let it all out after watching the last episode of Miranda Sing's "Haters Back Off". The show itself isn't getting very good reviews so I doubt it'll make it to a second season sadly as that finale was an emotional rollercoaster that ended with the saddest ending to a show I've seen (and I watched the Once Upon a Time Season 4 Mid-Season finale [not to mention the end of the season 3 mid-season finale or the end of Season 5]).
It just really made me think when Miranda was getting laughed at as people thought she was joking. Her line "Why is it so funny that someone might actually love me?" while everyone was laughing was the saddest part of the whole show. Especially when everyone just stopped laughing as they realised that this girl wasn't actually joking.
It was heartbreaking and it brought up so many emotions.
I can't even.
Just had to let it all out after watching the last episode of Miranda Sing's "Haters Back Off". The show itself isn't getting very good reviews so I doubt it'll make it to a second season sadly as that finale was an emotional rollercoaster that ended with the saddest ending to a show I've seen (and I watched the Once Upon a Time Season 4 Mid-Season finale [not to mention the end of the season 3 mid-season finale or the end of Season 5]).
It just really made me think when Miranda was getting laughed at as people thought she was joking. Her line "Why is it so funny that someone might actually love me?" while everyone was laughing was the saddest part of the whole show. Especially when everyone just stopped laughing as they realised that this girl wasn't actually joking.
It was heartbreaking and it brought up so many emotions.
I can't even.
How could anyone love this?
Why is it so hard to believe that someone might actually be interested in me?
Why do I feel the endless need to go from meaningless hook up to meaningless hook up?
Why do I fool myself that it's going to be any different from the last time?
How could anyone love this?
This ugly, fat, lazy mess? It's disgusting.
Who could do it?
Who would want to?
Who would want to fall asleep and wake up to this person?
Who would want to take this person to meet their parents?
Who would want a romance with this person?
Who would put in the time for romance with someone like this?
How could someone love me when I don't even love myself?
Why would someone want to be with someone who hates themselves?
Who would want to be with someone who hates looking in the mirror?
Who would want to cuddle up to someone like this?
Who would put in the time?
Who would care?
Why do I want it so badly?
Why do I want the husband?
The family?
The kids?
The wedding?
The marriage?
The birth?
The love?
The pain?
Why do I want all that when it's never going to happen?
Why should I expect something that I'll never get to experience?
When am I going to stop fooling myself that hooking up is anything more than meaningless sex?
When am I going to stop hating every part of myself?
When am I going to come out of my shell?
When am I going to find someone?
Will I find someone?
Will I spend the rest of my life alone?
Miserable?
Afraid?
Who will be my knight in shining armour?
Why should I get a hero?
Why would I deserve a hero?
Who would want to be this hero?
Who wouldn't take one look and be disgusted?
Who wouldn't go on one date and never get back to me?
Who would want to get intimate with this?
Who would want to see me again once the clothes come off?
What beauty could ever love this beast?
Why should I expect it?
Why should I want it?
Why should there be such a cruel prank as this?
To want something so badly to only know that you're never going to have it?
Never have that Hollywood romance?
Never have that moment of pure joy and elation?
Who would ever propose to this?
Why do I want it so badly?
Why do I dream of a day that's never going to happen?
Why do I waste my time on apps that never lead to anything?
Why do I settle for hook ups?
Why do I compromise?
Why don't I stand up for what I want?
Why do I act so clingy when I hate myself for it?
Why do I need someone to be there for me?
Why do I need this?
Who would want this?
No one.
Why do I feel the endless need to go from meaningless hook up to meaningless hook up?
Why do I fool myself that it's going to be any different from the last time?
How could anyone love this?
This ugly, fat, lazy mess? It's disgusting.
Who could do it?
Who would want to?
Who would want to fall asleep and wake up to this person?
Who would want to take this person to meet their parents?
Who would want a romance with this person?
Who would put in the time for romance with someone like this?
How could someone love me when I don't even love myself?
Why would someone want to be with someone who hates themselves?
Who would want to be with someone who hates looking in the mirror?
Who would want to cuddle up to someone like this?
Who would put in the time?
Who would care?
Why do I want it so badly?
Why do I want the husband?
The family?
The kids?
The wedding?
The marriage?
The birth?
The love?
The pain?
Why do I want all that when it's never going to happen?
Why should I expect something that I'll never get to experience?
When am I going to stop fooling myself that hooking up is anything more than meaningless sex?
When am I going to stop hating every part of myself?
When am I going to come out of my shell?
When am I going to find someone?
Will I find someone?
Will I spend the rest of my life alone?
Miserable?
Afraid?
Who will be my knight in shining armour?
Why should I get a hero?
Why would I deserve a hero?
Who would want to be this hero?
Who wouldn't take one look and be disgusted?
Who wouldn't go on one date and never get back to me?
Who would want to get intimate with this?
Who would want to see me again once the clothes come off?
What beauty could ever love this beast?
Why should I expect it?
Why should I want it?
Why should there be such a cruel prank as this?
To want something so badly to only know that you're never going to have it?
Never have that Hollywood romance?
Never have that moment of pure joy and elation?
Who would ever propose to this?
Why do I want it so badly?
Why do I dream of a day that's never going to happen?
Why do I waste my time on apps that never lead to anything?
Why do I settle for hook ups?
Why do I compromise?
Why don't I stand up for what I want?
Why do I act so clingy when I hate myself for it?
Why do I need someone to be there for me?
Why do I need this?
Who would want this?
No one.
Friday, 15 July 2016
Disappointment
So I didn't get the job. That's why I try to not keep my hopes up too high because there's only so much further for them to fall should I be unsuccessful. The bright side is that they got back to us pretty quickly which is good. The downside, obviously, is that I didn't get the job. Luckily though there should still be a few more months with my current job before they shut down for good so there's still a good amount of time to apply for other jobs.
Still, it does suck and every disappointment still hurts as you try to analyse why they mightn't have picked you and go through every moment of the interview to try and figure out why. However, that really isn't the healthy thing to do so I really just need to move on. No one gets every job they interview for and I'm just happy that I made it through to the interview round even though 300 people applied and they only interviewed 40. I'm sure there were a lot more qualified people for the premium cinema role and they obviously would not have needed as many people as they would have for traditional.
I guess the best thing to do is to let it out which is what I am doing now. URRGHHHHAHSGAD.
Now that's over it's time to look forward and keep on applying :)
Still, it does suck and every disappointment still hurts as you try to analyse why they mightn't have picked you and go through every moment of the interview to try and figure out why. However, that really isn't the healthy thing to do so I really just need to move on. No one gets every job they interview for and I'm just happy that I made it through to the interview round even though 300 people applied and they only interviewed 40. I'm sure there were a lot more qualified people for the premium cinema role and they obviously would not have needed as many people as they would have for traditional.
I guess the best thing to do is to let it out which is what I am doing now. URRGHHHHAHSGAD.
Now that's over it's time to look forward and keep on applying :)
Thursday, 14 July 2016
Post Interview Jitters
The worst part after a job interview is the jitters that come with it. I'm just so nervous right now because I think the interview went well but it is really hard to tell. As my retail job could end any week or month now (or may last until after Christmas) I've been looking for other employment so as to be unemployed for as little as possible.
It was a group interview with a one on one component at the end with two managers. It started out pretty well we were taken into the gold class cinema and given a lecture on what the company was all about (it was a cinema I was applying to) was all about, their history, the history of the managers in front of us, yada yada yada. You know, the part where they continue to sell how great a place the business is as if we were going to turn down a job if we were offered one. Anyway, after we got through this they told us that anyone over 18 would automatically be considered for premium cinemas (where you can order food and drinks while watching the movie [and they serve alcohol]) only and anyone under would be for Traditional only (traditional being the normal cinema).
The first activity we were split into a pair and then tasked with devising strategies for improving sales (one of the key performance indicators (KPIs). I think it went really well and me and my partner got along great so it would have looked great as we were outgoing and talking to each other. Luckily I was able to draw on my previous experience in retail (where there was a strong focus on improving KPIs and adding on items to sales to improve these KPIs) and me and my partner filled out all the boxes in no time. We got so caught up in it that we didn't realise that a lot of the other groups were really struggling to come up with ideas. Then we had to present our strategies to the rest of the group and they were really well received. It was especially nice that the girl actually pointed out that one of the ideas was mine and that she thought it was amazing. We talked after as well and she was really nice. She also worked in the same shopping centre that I did (where the cinemas were located) but she worked at a restaurant so we had a lot to talk about.
After this we had our one-on-one interview with two managers (kind of defeats the purpose of the one-on-one thing I said but I couldn't think of something else to call it because a one-on-two doesn't sound right) and I think it went well. They asked a few questions but not too many and they did ask me to talk about myself at the start where I talked about my experience in retail and studying at University.
Overall I think the interview went really well but I don't want to get my hopes up just in case I don't get the job. That's the worst part about the whole thing. You may think you did well but you won't know until you get that phone call that tells you whether you were successful or not. Personally I hope that I do because it's good hours and pay plus it looks like an amazing place to work and the employee benefits are great (I mean who could turn down free movie tickets (EVERY MONTH) and special staff screenings every week?
But still, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best. This is always the worst part.
It was a group interview with a one on one component at the end with two managers. It started out pretty well we were taken into the gold class cinema and given a lecture on what the company was all about (it was a cinema I was applying to) was all about, their history, the history of the managers in front of us, yada yada yada. You know, the part where they continue to sell how great a place the business is as if we were going to turn down a job if we were offered one. Anyway, after we got through this they told us that anyone over 18 would automatically be considered for premium cinemas (where you can order food and drinks while watching the movie [and they serve alcohol]) only and anyone under would be for Traditional only (traditional being the normal cinema).
The first activity we were split into a pair and then tasked with devising strategies for improving sales (one of the key performance indicators (KPIs). I think it went really well and me and my partner got along great so it would have looked great as we were outgoing and talking to each other. Luckily I was able to draw on my previous experience in retail (where there was a strong focus on improving KPIs and adding on items to sales to improve these KPIs) and me and my partner filled out all the boxes in no time. We got so caught up in it that we didn't realise that a lot of the other groups were really struggling to come up with ideas. Then we had to present our strategies to the rest of the group and they were really well received. It was especially nice that the girl actually pointed out that one of the ideas was mine and that she thought it was amazing. We talked after as well and she was really nice. She also worked in the same shopping centre that I did (where the cinemas were located) but she worked at a restaurant so we had a lot to talk about.
After this we had our one-on-one interview with two managers (kind of defeats the purpose of the one-on-one thing I said but I couldn't think of something else to call it because a one-on-two doesn't sound right) and I think it went well. They asked a few questions but not too many and they did ask me to talk about myself at the start where I talked about my experience in retail and studying at University.
Overall I think the interview went really well but I don't want to get my hopes up just in case I don't get the job. That's the worst part about the whole thing. You may think you did well but you won't know until you get that phone call that tells you whether you were successful or not. Personally I hope that I do because it's good hours and pay plus it looks like an amazing place to work and the employee benefits are great (I mean who could turn down free movie tickets (EVERY MONTH) and special staff screenings every week?
But still, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best. This is always the worst part.
Wednesday, 13 July 2016
This is Why I Love My Job
Now a lot of people may not think that working in retail is so great but I really do love my job! I'm at a company whose focus is all on the customer and their experience from the second they walk in the job. It's a really cool store that sells gadgets, toys, sports kits, science kits, astronomy sets, telescopes, books and Australiana (such as boomerangs, plush animals, maps, hats, other Australian souvenirs and knick knacks). One of our big focuses is on demoing products to both attract customers into the store and to show them how certain products look/feel/work. It's a really cool idea and it also means that the staff get paid to play with toys. It's a pretty sweet deal really.
Today I had a short three-hour shift and while I also had other tasks to complete I did spend a lot of my shift literally playing with products. I was blowing touchable bubbles, piloting a remote control UFO and controlling a remote control dragon. It was really great and at the end of the day I also had to take home a telescope to test it. It really is a tough deal :P .
It sucks that the company is closing down but while it lasts it's great :)
Today I had a short three-hour shift and while I also had other tasks to complete I did spend a lot of my shift literally playing with products. I was blowing touchable bubbles, piloting a remote control UFO and controlling a remote control dragon. It was really great and at the end of the day I also had to take home a telescope to test it. It really is a tough deal :P .
It sucks that the company is closing down but while it lasts it's great :)
What's with these views?
So I literally just set up my blog and posted my first post but somehow I already have 3 page views with some of them coming from the United States? Only one of those was me when I was checking on whether my changes had worked. I guess it could have come from the live blog viewer that shows you what the blog looks like while you're editing it.
I mean look at that map? I guess as there are only 3 page views and Australia is the darker country, that 2 of the 3 views came from Australia and 1 came from the United States.
Anyway, it's getting late so I best sleep :)
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