How could anyone love this?

Why is it so hard to believe that someone might actually be interested in me?
Why do I feel the endless need to go from meaningless hook up to meaningless hook up?
Why do I fool myself that it's going to be any different from the last time?
How could anyone love this?
This ugly, fat, lazy mess? It's disgusting.
Who could do it?
Who would want to?
Who would want to fall asleep and wake up to this person?
Who would want to take this person to meet their parents?
Who would want a romance with this person?
Who would put in the time for romance with someone like this?
How could someone love me when I don't even love myself?
Why would someone want to be with someone who hates themselves?
Who would want to be with someone who hates looking in the mirror?
Who would want to cuddle up to someone like this?
Who would put in the time?
Who would care?
Why do I want it so badly?
Why do I want the husband?
The family?
The kids?
The wedding?
The marriage?
The birth?
The love?
The pain?
Why do I want all that when it's never going to happen?
Why should I expect something that I'll never get to experience?
When am I going to stop fooling myself that hooking up is anything more than meaningless sex?
When am I going to stop hating every part of myself?
When am I going to come out of my shell?
When am I going to find someone?
Will I find someone?
Will I spend the rest of my life alone?
Miserable?
Afraid?
Who will be my knight in shining armour?
Why should I get a hero?
Why would I deserve a hero?
Who would want to be this hero?
Who wouldn't take one look and be disgusted?
Who wouldn't go on one date and never get back to me?
Who would want to get intimate with this?
Who would want to see me again once the clothes come off?
What beauty could ever love this beast?
Why should I expect it?
Why should I want it?
Why should there be such a cruel prank as this?
To want something so badly to only know that you're never going to have it?
Never have that Hollywood romance?
Never have that moment of pure joy and elation?
Who would ever propose to this?
Why do I want it so badly?
Why do I dream of a day that's never going to happen?
Why do I waste my time on apps that never lead to anything?
Why do I settle for hook ups?
Why do I compromise?
Why don't I stand up for what I want?
Why do I act so clingy when I hate myself for it?
Why do I need someone to be there for me?
Why do I need this?
Who would want this?

No one.